crystalpeterson2

sorry to be a downer. I need to talk to someone. I had a stillborn baby at 18 weeks along on 01/03/08. It was due to a cord accident. It was almost twisted off some how stopping the blood flow to my baby boy.

I have been trying to go to sleep for over an hour now and I can't for a few reasons.

Dh is gone to work tonight

And I'm dreading tomorrow (mothers day) because I feel that part of my heart is gone with Andrew. I'm so grateful for the children I do have but my heart is aching knowing I should be getting ready to have my son in a few weeks if everything had gone well. Then all the memories of having andrew stillborn is flooding my mind.

I think what set me off is my 4 year old came up to me tonight and said Mommy Baby Andrew is not in your tummy any more huh? It brought reality up. If I'm this emotional for mothers day his birthday is going to be awful. I'm supposed to go to a barbeque for my Mom with my family tomorrow so lets hope I can keep it together for that and then afterwards I will go to Andrew's grave and hopefully it will help.

Thanks for being here girls.

[home=c9fc]

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Karen

I will be thinking of you today

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Pautzie

You'll be in our prayers today. I'm sorry you are having to go through this difficult time. I hope your family is sensitive to your feelings.

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Emma

I'm so sorry hun. You are in my thoughts and prayers. This must be so incredibly difficult

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Donna

I'm so sorry Crystal, I can't even imagine the pain

I will be thinking of you today as I often do and will say a little prayer for your family and your precious angel. I hope visiting him brings you some comfort. We are always here anytime you need to talk

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Angela

I'm so sorry Crystal. You will be in my prayers.

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belinda

We are here for you if you ever need us.

I'm so sorry Crystal. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

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I proudly breastfeed/pumped for 9 months, 3 weeks!


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crystalpeterson2

Hi everyone. Thanks for all the nice words and comfort.

I did go to the family BBQ all day today and it was really nice. Im glad I got away and my mind off of my loss. I did go to the cemetary on the way home to see my baby as well. I'm home now and just looking forward to relaxing for the night.

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Koloe