fyrestar

OMG what a morning. I have never been so upset with DH before and I feel like I can no longer trust him to do anything ever again.

We have two doorways into the kitchen, one from the living room, one from the dining room. We have gates on both of them because the kids are constantly wanting to go in there to get into things. The gates *have* to be closed at night because over the last couple months the boys have been waking up and being very, very quiet in their bedroom where the baby monitor is so that we can't hear them, and coming out into the living room. Since we can't hear them out there, we have no idea they're even awake until Macy or Dawson wakes up or the boys get into something that causes a noise The boys can climb over the kitchen gates if they really want to, of course, but usually that makes enough noise to wake us up. I don't have locks on the cabinets or drawers (brand new kitchen, I hate to do it! lol) but I do keep all the cleaning supplies, knives, etc stored in the highest cabinets out of their reach. They have gotten in there before though and spilled coffee grounds everywhere, gotten stuff out of the fridge, etc. It's SO frustrating we've even talked of locking them in their room at night (but that's tough since Cade might need to use the bathroom) or putting glass doors on the kitchen doorways just to keep them out.

So when I went to bed last night I reminded DH to finish loading the dishwasher and get it started (that's his job EVERY night) and make sure he closes the gates. I have to really nag him about it because he does not handle sleep deprivation well (we're only getting about 4 or 5 hours a night) and constantly sits down to "take a break" and immediately falls asleep. It's really irritating and a huge source of conflict with us. I even sometimes say to him, "Matt, you HAVE to stay awake and finish this and close the gates. If you can't stay awake, I will finish it in the morning but you HAVE to close the dishwasher and close the gates - I don't want to wake up to a stabbed child." I have near-panic attacks sometimes thinking about the what-ifs since for whatever reason my boys are obsessed with the steak knives

I decided to sleep on the couch in the living room for no particular reason. This morning I woke up early on my own and out of the corner of my eye I saw Parker coming out of the kitchen - gate totally open. I got up immediately and scolded him and he said, "Macy has steak knives." Well, obviously Macy was still in her crib so I screamed for DH and ran to her room and she was sitting there, a jar of mayo and three steak knives next to her I grabbed her and checked her over, she had apparently only put her finger in the mayo but didn't touch the knives, smart girl. The thought of Parker chucking steak knives into her crib made me want to throw up and I was crying and screaming at DH - I can't believe not only did he leave the dishwasher hanging wide open, steak knives in there, but he also left the gates wide open. I don't even want to think about what would've happened had I not slept in the living room, had I not woken up when I did, or if Macy had been interested in the knives. I've always thought we must have some spirits out there on our side because of how lucky we get when things seem to be going wrong - someone most definitely was looking out for these kids this morning.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL THIS MAN? What will it take for him to learn to control his own body and STAY AWAKE? Sometimes I wonder if he has something wrong with him - he has fallen asleep easily and often inappropriately (i.e. during a conversation, mid-sentence, during an argument with me crying, etc.) since we met in college. I used to be able to pull off two or three all-nighters in a row to study for a test, he simply could not do it no matter how important it was. I just can't believe he would do this especially since I am constantly giving him the worst-case scenarios in hopes of motivating him to do what he needs to do.

I guess I can no longer go to bed before he does and will have to treat him like a child and if he can't handle these things, do them myself. Why in the world am I even thinking of having another child - I already have five.

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Kris

Narcolepsy. I'm sure you must have considered this before, haven't you? My ex was narcoleptic. He could fall asleep in the middle of a game of pool... standing up. It's a medical condition and no amount of "gaining control" will help it, sadly. I've considered that with Matt before, based on numerous things you've posted.

And, Wow. SCARY indeed. I am SOOOOOOOO glad that Macy wasn't hurt!!! What an awful thing to wake up to.

I'm getting chills just thinking about knives anywhere near any of my kids. UGH!

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Kris
Proud Mama of Three
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DKGirl

How scary!! I so glad that no one was hurt.

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fyrestar

Yep I've definitely thought about narcolepsy on more than one occasion. I'm not sure he really fits the bill though since if he gets 9 or 10 hours of sleep at night, he's fine. Plus he's not really sleepy during the day - it's only at night, starting around 8pm or so. His mom is also exactly the same way - cannot handle sleep deprivation, falls asleep when she doesn't mean to and misses an appointment, etc. Maybe his body is just on autopilot right now. I'm sure if he went to a doc right now they'd say, "Well, um, first you need to get more than 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night, then we'll talk."

I'm going to see if there are any alarm type things that maybe we can put on the boys' door so it goes off when it's opened, and we're still thinking about putting doors on the kitchen doorways so we can actually lock up at night - of course it doesn't help if people don't remember to do that before going to sleep. That's why I'm SO angry with him - fine, you're really tired and cannot stay awake another second; please just close the dishwasher, the gates and GO TO SLEEP! He is such an @$$ because he thinks to himself, "Hmm.. I'm tired. I'll just sit down for just a minute here and take a break, then I'll finish." You'd think after falling asleep 100 times while "taking a break" would teach someone that they need to just close the gates and go to bed. But he just can't accept reality.

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Masonsmommy

OMG! SO scary!

I'm so glad that no one was hurt

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8/24/2004


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fyrestar

I just found these http://www.mypreciouskid.com/wireless-door-alarm.html and bought 2 of them (1 for the front door - Cade is able to climb over the gate leading downstairs into the foyer and one morning we found him on the front porch ) I really hope these work!!

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Koloe

That's scary. I'm glad everyone was alright.

But personally - I don't do well when I'm only getting 3 hours of sleep a night. I start doing strange things and forgetting things I would never have forgotten had I been getting a solid 6-7 hours a night. Though I don't fall asleep mid sentence. Really I need more like 8-9 hours. Not that I've seen that in a long time. When Liriel was about 6-9 months old, I fell asleep with an open bottle of baby Tylenol in my hands (was the middle of the night) while she was sleeping next to me. While I can understand being angry and upset with DH for leaving the gate open the the dishwasher open. Trying to make someone change something they are physically not able to change is just going to make everyone unhappy.

Besides - we all know women are just better than men when it comes to dealing with sleep deprivation and long term stress.

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Kris