DKGirl

Sorry I’ve not been a good DDB this week. I’ve been very upset. This weekend I’m off. The only Saturday off for the month of January and all my Aunts are in town and several of my cousins and they’re all having lunch tomorrow and I was invited and planning on going too. Most live 1-2 hours out of our city.

Well, my one Aunt and I are close and we email each other weekly. Well, she asked what I was doing after lunch on Saturday and told her that I was going to go do some baby shopping. We purchased the bassinet and I forgot that sheets don’t come included with it and just stuff. She then says “see if you let us have the luncheon for you, we could have got some of those little things you need”.

I had no clue what she was talking about. My Aunts, cousins, a few women at church and some of my friends wanted to have just a luncheon for me with a cake at the restaurant in the party room. Nothing big as everyone would get their own lunch but we could all visit and celebrate me having the baby. It was going to be a surprise to me.

My mother pitched a fit and said I had told her I didn’t want one and if someone mentioned anything I didn’t want this at all. I NEVER said those words. My Aunt ended up calling me and she said she told everyone that didn’t sound like me but my mom insisted I didn’t want to do anything for this baby so all plans were stopped and nothing will be going on. I was crying on the phone and my Aunt said she was so sorry, she should have gone ahead and asked me direct once my mom said those things.

This was on Tuesday and I said nothing to my mom. Last night my mom called the house and wants me to come over tonight and take 30-40 pictures of hers and scan and Photoshop those for her as several of my Aunts would like copies of her pictures for scrapbooks. I told her no I would not. She asked why and I brought up what my Aunt told me. There was silence on the phone and she told me my Aunt had no right to tell me that. I asked mom if it was true and she said that yes she told everyone that, as I don’t deserve to have anything done for me. She said that Anders and I are too old to be having a baby. (I just turned 37 and DH will be 40 in February) and we have everything we need as we had a baby 2 ½ years ago. I work full-time and I should buy my own things. We shouldn’t be having a baby.

She threw a huge party for my SIL when she had her 2nd baby and they bought them a nice 35mm SLR camera. They’ve done nothing for Hayden or this baby. I brought this up to her and she said that my SIL deserved to have one as she was a stay at home mom and they’re young.

I literally felt like I was going to pass out…it felt like ice was running through my veins. I had nothing left to say to her. I just calmly told her “I thought you loved me and I don’t understand why you have turned into such a mean person. I will stay out of your life since you seem to be so ashamed of me and I hope you will do the same” and I hung up. I went to lay down as I was so upset. About 9:00 pm my dad called and asked to speak to me and DH said I was already in bed. He said my dad told him that my mom was very upset as she needs these pictures done as she’s promised them to people and would I please agree to help her out. DH said he’s can’t answer for me but it would probably be best for them to make other arrangements to have this done. He said dad just said “oh…ok”

I emailed my Aunts/cousins this morning and said that unfortunately something has came up and I won’t be able to attend tomorrow and I hope they have a great time and I hope to see them another time.

I know if feels worse as the pregnancy hormones but I can’t deal with them anymore. Anymore, any contact ends in them belittling me or using me. These are my parents and I love them and wish they felt they could treat me with respect too

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jillian1527

I am so sorry Amy. You have every right to be so upset. I just never will understand why and how parents can treat their own children this way. I dont think your to old and this baby is such a blessing for you and your family.

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Koloe

WTF! That's all I could think as I read your vent. Geeze - some nice parents you have there. I'm sorry they are being so mean and selfish. And you and DH are no where near to old to be having more children. I'll be 36 in a few more weeks and I don't know if I'm done having kids or not. And DB is going to be 42 in March.

But since you were looking forward to having lunch with your family, I would still go. Just probably don't want to sit anywhere near your mother. Call your aunt up and explain the problem and tell her the real reason you don't want to come. That you are VERY upset with your mother right now and don't want to be around her. (Unless you really didn't want to go that is.) But if your mother is the only reason you don't want to go. To heck with her. Go in spite of her. Let the family know how excited you and DH are about the baby. Your mother has obviously been misinforming them. This child deserves to be celebrated just as much as any other child.

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RetromamaJess

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Callie

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Emma

OMG!!! I can't believe she feels that way. Amy, I am so sorry she is acting this way. You guys deserve a celebration. This is ridiculous!

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gooberette

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DKGirl

My Aunt is the kind of person who will let the others know what went on and how hurt I am over my mom's actions. I think they're all seeing my mom in a new light as she kept telling me she knew that didn't sound right at all what my mom was telling her....that's just wasn't me. My Aunt felt horrible.

I would like to go but I can't. KWIM?? I can't bear to be in the room with her and I'm sure she's going to belittle me in front of everyone regarding the pictures. For my own mental sanity, I need to keep my distance. I'm really hurting and feel like I've lost my mom. Until they begin to treat me with some respect I don't want them in my life. I've had more than I can handle....I'm at my limit. It's not good for the baby or me being this upset. I need to be calm and focus on positive things.

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