Fuming Mad

Callie · 11-04-2008, 11:57 AM

Why does family have to litterally suck sometimes? I invited my in-laws and immediate family over to have Thanksgiving. I have a house now and I want to use it! So, none of my immediate family wants to come over because my in-laws will be here. My in-laws called last night and said

MIL:"Are you still planning on having Thanksgiving?"
Cris: Yeah
MIL: Are you sure you aren't going to Callie's grandma's?
Cris: Nope, we both planned on staying here, we invited you guys here.
MIL: Well I just thought you would go there, doesn't she always go to her grandma's?
Cris: We have in the past but not this year.
MIL: What time is she going to have it? We will come if it is at dinner time but Uncle Bill (not really an uncle) asked us to come for lunch

I am so mad. Maybe it isn't a big deal to some of you but I don't feel that I should have to work around their schedule . . . I am the one that invited them, mind you I invited them over a MONTH ago. I was so excited and now I have been shafted by my in-laws AND my family. I was planning on doing Thanksgiving at 1:00. Who wants to wait all day to eat?

This probably wouldn't bother me too much except over Labor Day weekend I went to a dinner at my grandma's house. We were talking about birthday and christmas gifts and I made a comment about how I wish Cris would get me a birthday gift (he doesn't believe in gifts). My cousin (17 years old) made a comment "how do you get anything new . . . you either get it for your b-day or Christmas" I simply said we buy it when we need it. she said well that is dumb, you waste money that way. I said no, it isn't a waste of money, we actually save money that way. Well, after this was said, all He** broke loose. She said "the only reason you have savings is because you live off the government" I blew up at her, started bawling my eyes out, and left. Ever since that argument, things have not been the same. My family continues to side with her and my sister (that is a whole other story), and things are really weird. I feel as if my family doesn't like me or the way I live my life (I am active in a church they are no longer active in) and they are always judging me. So I don't even want to go to my mom's for Thanksgiving because the only people that will be there are the ones that are against me. Why would I want to surround myself with the people that supposedly love me but talk smack behind my back? HELLO, how would a 17 year old know that I have used medicaid in the past and continue to use it had my family not been talking crap behind my back?

I am just so upset over this. It probably seems silly but I have a screwed up family and screwed up in-laws. I feel like singing the song
"no body likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms, big ones fat ones, little ones skinny ones, I'm gonna eat some worms."

Now I am spending my time crying today because I live 30 minutes to an hour away from family and I will be spending Thanksgiving by myself.

Emma · 11-04-2008, 12:14 PM

I can relate to the way you're feeling. I will never understand why family can make the holidays so hard. It's supposed to be a happy time, not a miserable time! Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but my MIL has made sure to ruin it every year since Thomas was born. We can't afford to travel away from her during the holidays, but I sure would LOVE to

Oh yeah, she hates me more this year than usual. **sigh** She can kiss it!
As far as the gift giving goes, I wish my Dh would slow down on the gifts. I would rather spend the money on the kids or on a trip. As far as the medicaid thing goes, wouldn't it be irresponsible not to have you and your kids covered with that rather than have nothing???

Hang in there!!

Tricia · 11-04-2008, 02:25 PM

Oh I can so relate also. We don't celebrate the holiday's with family because of the type of family we have, AND WE DIDN"T DO ANYTHING.

I am sorry that everyone can be so insensitve and RUDE!!!!. But I will tell you one thing, we have come to like Thanksgiving on our own. Although, it is a time for family and everything else. We get to eat when we want, go to bed when we want and we don't have to drive anywhere. We don't get into major fights. It is nice, really.

Sad sometimes, I won't deny that. But we will make our family what we want and as the years go by we will create our own family traditions. That is what you have to remember. Don't let YOUR thanksgiving be a bummer b/c family doesn't want to be part of that.

Lisa · 11-04-2008, 02:36 PM

I agree with Tricia...we had so many issues with going back and forth between both families, cant have it together because our families hate each other....so we now have Thanksgiving for the 3 of us. I cook the full meal(i love Thanksgiving leftovers

) and it is so nice, we eat when we want, watch whatever we want on tv, hang out in sweats and just enjoy each other....so much better than dressing up, eating two meals, driving all over the state and listening to the familys argue because we spent 10 minutes more at one house than the other.

Val · 11-04-2008, 03:50 PM

While I have no advice for you; you gals must now know why I am a "holiday drunk." Blah to your folks and in-laws Callie - they suck!!!!!

I have stopped caring. Seriously. I am oblivous to their crapola and just do my thing. Even with Noah I am able to do my thing...loving it!

Koloe · 11-04-2008, 05:15 PM

Sorry your family is being a PITA. I know most of my brothers don't like going to anyone's house if that family members in-laws are there. They fear strangers.

One reason I will probably never get any nieces or nephews from them.

And DB's family never come down to see us, so we pretty much stopped inviting them. Not that they are not welcome, just don't see the point if they are not going to come down.

Pautzie · 11-04-2008, 09:00 PM

Sorry your family are being pills. You won't be alone though. Enjoy having Thanksgiving dinner with your immediate family though. They won't argue with you and it might actually be enjoyable.