Cade's Lunch: Murder in the 1st Degree

fyrestar · 02-08-2006, 01:07 PM

OMG I think I'm going to check myself into a looney bin. Seriously.

I'm really seriously 100% rethinking our decision to have a 3rd child because I am really wondering if I can handle another one.

Cade is getting worse and worse by the day. No, by the hour. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like one of those moms on Nanny 911 - the one whose child is totally out of control and tearing her hair out.

I just sat Cade down at the table for lunch, gave him tuna casserole, a few slices of cheese, sippy cup of milk and some pears. I was going to feed Parker too but as soon as I put him down in the high chair he started screaming. Too tired. So I went and put him down for a nap. I was gone 5 minutes. I came back and it looked like a crime scene, with Cade's lunch as the victim.

He had smeared his tuna casserole all over the dining room table, threw it on the floor, shook his sippy cup all over the table so there was milk dripping down the legs of the table, down his booster seat, down the chair, down him. The rest of the milk was spilled all over the floor, everywhere. The pears were everywhere, and he'd apparently chewed up some cheese and spit it out on the floor (his new thing).

I felt like I was going to put him over my knee and spank him a hundred times and I knew I was too angry to deal with him right then. I went downstairs to Matt's office (he works at home) and told him he better come upstairs for a few minutes before I beat the crap out of Cade. So he came up and talked to him while I threw myself on the couch and cooled off, Cade of course just sat there looking at him blankly. And then I put him in his room for time out and spent 10 minutes cleaning up the mess.

What am I doing wrong?? This can't possibly be normal?? I practically helped raise my little sister, when she was 2 I was about 12. I do NOT remember her being like this. I'm really worried that he has the beginnings of ADHD. And I try to imagine having a third baby, and I want to

the crap out of myself for even thinking of it. Cade is just too difficult. What if Parker's the same way? Or worse?? What am I thinking??? OMG I really need to talk myself out of this whole TTC thing. Maybe 2 is enough. Or if we have a 3rd one maybe we should wait oh I don't know, a decade????

Tell me this passes!! Tell me soon!!!!!

02-08-2006, 01:15 PM

I don't know what to say but wanted to send you hugs!

You're lucky that your husband works at home!

Kris · 02-08-2006, 01:23 PM

Brenna is a lot like Cade. I'd like to tell you it will get better, but my experience has been that it just gets worse.

But, Joshua was the same way at 3, and he's an awesome kid now. I mean... he's super terrific. Brenna is a handful and a half. But, she's a lot older than Cade. So, I get to sit back and know that she'll be in school next year, and someone else will have to deal with her.

I don't know what to tell ya.... but I understand how you are feeling.

fyrestar · 02-08-2006, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jayhawkmom

Brenna is a handful and a half. But, she's a lot older than Cade. So, I get to sit back and know that she'll be in school next year, and someone else will have to deal with her.

I know I can't wait until we have him in preschool, even if it's only for 2 half-days. Of course sometimes I worry that they'll kick him out

belinda · 02-08-2006, 02:41 PM

Maybe there are some other solutions we can come up with for you. Um... my DS was famous for getting out of bed during nap time and roaming the house without me knowing it - getting into mischief. I was a 'mean' mommy and put a door knob guard (that only adults could use to open the door, by squeezing the buttons) on the inside of his door knob...so that he couldn't get out of his room without knocking for us to let him out. I know that sounds horrible...but, it worked.

It honestly sounds like he has just HIT the terrible two's. My DD was worse than my DS, but, I remember it all too well. It's a constant battle...but, I wouldn't let that deter you from having another. Each child is different. So, don't dispear!

The main thing to remember is that it's important to teach him 'manners' now, even at that age...so that he respects others. It sounds like you are on the right track and just need guidance. I will see what ideas I can come up with for you...

I understand your frustration. I think all of us have been through it. My breaking point was speghetti I think. On the CEILING and cabinets!

Wanted to kill a child that day. Unfortunately, you may have to supervise all of his eating and drinking habits for a while...a month or two...to try to keep him in line????

Amanda05 · 02-08-2006, 02:54 PM

It will get better Chris. All children go through a tough age. Some worse then others. The biggest mistake you can make right now is letting him get away with things. You did the right thing by putting him on a time out.

At this point all you can do is be VERY consistant and wait for it to end!

He probably is a little jealous of Parker. Maybe that is why he did all of that while you were putting Parker down. Just hang in there he is at a tough age and he will grow out of it IF you are very consistant. He will learn what is ok with you and what deffinatly is not!

belinda · 02-08-2006, 03:45 PM

Chris,

I called my SIL and told her about your problem. She has 3 girls and said that 2 of them did that. Her two were 16 months apart, so she said that she remembers having one in the terrible twos and having an infant. She told me about something that she did that worked, and it made me remember that I had done that too, and it worked, so i wanted to share...

This sounds bad and it's more difficult (emotionally) for you than for him, but, when our kids threw food, we took the food away and they didn't eat. We would clean up the mess and just say, "sorry, big boys and girls don't throw food, we eat food, so, if you're going to throw it, you don't get any." After about a 1/2 an hour, we would ask them, "ok, are you ready to try to eat/drink again?" We would sit them down at the table and try again. If they threw the cup or food again, we took the food away again. And we would keep trying every half an hour or so. Etc... It took awhile for them to get the point (maybe a couple of days or a week of being persistant), but, it worked.
My SIL says that she feels your pain, and understands what you're going through. She also said that it will get better.

But, she swears that it worked for her. She wanted me to reassure you that you will deprive them of nutrition...they will eat...they will get hungry and they will eventually learn HOW to eat appropriately. If you have to make them have a late lunch or dinner to prove your point, then do it. It will not kill them

Just stick to your guns and stay CONSTISTANT.

and let us know how it's going! I hope this helps!

Emma · 02-08-2006, 04:53 PM

I don't have anything to add except that he will out grow this behavior if you stick to your guns. Thomas was a thrower (of food) too and we had to stratigically sit at the table to keep it from flying too far. He out grow it and so will Cade.

It will get better.