I haven't really talked about my home life in a long, long time. It hasn't been good. Jon and I have been fighting alot, He left for a few weeks about a month ago and then came back and we've both just been miserable. Meghan is miserable, she hates it when we fight, it's just been horrible. I decided a few weeks ago that I had enough...I was too tired and too angry to fight anymore and I just didn't think we could ever break through the hurt. I have a good friend at work who I went to and she made me promise to try one more thing. She and her husband teach an 8 week marriage enrichment class and there was a 3 day weekend workshop that she wanted Jon and I to attend before we made a final decision. It was a workshop specifically set up for couples who are thinking about divorce, separated, or already divorced and it's small, 12 couples. Almost every couple there had been in therapy alone or as a couple and nearly eveyone there felt like this was the last stop. I was so negative about the whole thing. I had already pre determined that the weekend was going to be a waste of time, but out of desperation and the fact that my friend really thought this would help, we went.
It has changed our lives. And not in that "workshop high" sort of way but in the actual steps to take to heal, to forgive, to become a better spouse. I held Jon's hand for the first time in months today and quite honestly maybe in a year, just because I wanted to. We were able to have a conversation all the way home from Fort Worth today without a single angry, negative argument. From the pessimistic glass half empty girl that is incredible. I'm not saying we're fixed, and I know we have some really painful issues to deal with still but at least now I feel like I know where to start. Seriously, it has been the hardest yet most incredible weekend ever.
The most amazing thing I learned is that most of my "problems" with Jon are not about Jon at all, but about me. And by better understanding and giving him what he needs from me and trusting that he will do the same for me, I'm finally finding some peace. I know I still will have some doubt creep back in but we are going to weekly follow-up sessions together and I am going to schedule some individual sessions for me with my previous therapist. I can even really explain how I feel right now, but something has changed, I mean really changed in me. I'm excited, afraid, and happy all at the same time.
I'm glad things are looking up for you and Jon. I hope that you two are able to continue working through you issues and your marriage is able to survive and thrive. Marriage isn't easy.
The most amazing thing I learned is that most of my "problems" with Jon are not about Jon at all, but about me. And by better understanding and giving him what he needs from me and trusting that he will do the same for me, I'm finally finding some peace. I know I still will have some doubt creep back in but we are going to weekly follow-up sessions together and I am going to schedule some individual sessions for me with my previous therapist. I can even really explain how I feel right now, but something has changed, I mean really changed in me. I'm excited, afraid, and happy all at the same time.
I just needed to share.
Suzanne
: I realized this about myself and SOME of Rich and I's problem
I am glad you are on the mends. Hang in there. I am going to post about something I wrote Rich b/c he told me I should sell it and You should read.
Marriage isn't easy at all but it sounds like both of you are on the right track and willing to try one more time. I hope it continues and both of you find what's been missing. People change over time due to situations and life experiences.
03-03-2008, 12:52 AM
Home Issues
: I realized this about myself and SOME of Rich and I's problem
I am going to post about something I wrote Rich b/c he told me I should sell it and You should read.
everything continues in the right direction!!
