Jessica

Yesterday morning I got up and showered before I took Jess to school at 6:30am. Dh had told me to wake him when I got back. I had been "in the mood" for a day or two so I thought I would wake dh and start his day off right. I strated rubbing on him and about the time I reached down to find something he flips to his belly. WTheck!!! I said something about morning sex and he said, I kid you not, "I have to get up and wake up before I go to work". wtheck!!!!!!! Then he said "how about tonight"? I was like sure, fine.

It takes a lot for me to make the first move. I rarely do it. I think part of that is my past and issues that I have had with sex. Him turning me down really hurt. THEN, last night he took a shower and watched ER. I got up and was headed to bed and he says "what's wrong". I said "nothing, I'm going to bed."
This morning he starts rubbing on my butt. I pushed his hand away from me.
I told him that if he can't make time for me then I wasn't going to make time for him!!

Why don't he realize how much he hurt me? I could have easily gotten over his rejection if he had followed through last night.
MEN!!

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Jessica
Mom to 3 girls
Jessie 14, Hannah 5, Sarah 3


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Koloe

MEN!!! Just need a good wack in the head with a cast iron frying pan.

I know the feeling of being rejected that way hurts. And men tend to be too dense to comprehend it. BTDT

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Todash

Men. Dont theey realize the happiness of their penis lies with us.

Dumb asses.

Yeah for you for standing up for yourself and needs.

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Lisa

Well said.. I agree completly. What an ass.

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I Breastfeed Kaitlyn 2 Years, 7 Months and 6 Days.

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tinamariebb

I'll tell you why he didn't realize how much he hurt you- you didn't tell him. Men aren't like us. Unless you actually tell them they have no clue. I work with a ton of guys and they really just don't know things. They don't read body language and all of that as well as women. When you told him nothing was wrong- he assumed you meant nothing was wrong. You do need to spell it out for them. I find that unless I tell Joe or my dad or any of the guys here how I am feeling; they have no idea, where a woman would be able to read right through me.

So, next time you are upset and he asks you, tell him. Just flat out say, 'honey I really wanted you this morning and you rejected me. Now you are sitting there watching the tv instead of taking your wife and making love to her. Take me to bed. Or sit there and watch tv.' Then walk away. If he is a smart man- he'll follow. They really do need it put more bluntly than most women are comfortable with. Men need you to tell them what you need or you won't get it, no matter what it is.

It's just part of makes men and women different and wonderful in their own ways; different communication styles. As soon as I accepted it, and learned to speak up when I am upset, my marriage changed. When Joe asks what's wrong I usually will tell him (sometimes I am too close to crying to tell him right then, stupid hormones). Then he can work with me. I spent a lot of time crying because he didn't understand before I figured out that he can't unless I tell him. Heck his mom used to yell at him for not knowing what was wrong when I got upset; and he then really got confused.

It sucks to be rejected, my DH did it quite a bit for a while; then I finally just broke one day and laid it all out. He appreciated it (although I sounded pretty pissed) because he finally knew why I seemed pissed. He always assumed PMS because that's always what they assume. Now if he doesn't want it, he tells me why. And even though I can be a little miffed, I can know it's not about me.

Sorry for the novel. I just heard so much of me from a year ago in what you wrote.

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Jessica

Wow! Thanks Tina, you are right.

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Mom to 3 girls
Jessie 14, Hannah 5, Sarah 3


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DKGirl

I know what you mean...sometimes their rejections really hurt. Sorry.

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Emma

Tina put it very well. I wish I could just lay it out for Dh, but it usually comes out really bad and starts a fight. After 10 years of marriage I'm still learning to communicate better with him

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