slightly irritated...

RetromamaJess · 07-31-2008, 10:54 PM

I was talking to my supervisor today at work...she has been an LC for 30 yrs, and she has been an IBLEC for 29 years, as well as a LLL leader for the whole county. Tomorrow is our meeting, and she seems stressed about it. World Breastfeeding week is next week, and we're putting on a confrence that she is in charge of. I asked her today about becoming a leader, and she said that she didn't think i had what it takes

She said she didn't think i believe in the core values of LLL. I started looking them up, and I agree, I don't agree with ALL of them...but does that make me a bad person? I have heard her talk at BF classes(which I'm going to be teaching) and I don't agree with everything she says....just because I don't agree with a few things means I can't be a LLL leader? The things I don't agree with are these:

It's a womans choice in labor if she wants drugs or not. She shouldn't have to endure the pain of childbirth if she dosen't want to.

If a woman's OB says she needs a section, it's really not the end of the world.

LLL strongly disagrees with pacifiers. I don't. My kids both use them. We are the ONLY ones at LLL meetings with one.

I asked my boss about starting to wean Dean. I'm very on the fence about it. I think i'm ready though. She told me not to do it until he gets teeth. Well, he's just about a year....i'm ready....but i feel like she thinks it makes me a bad person.

Am I justified?

Karen · 07-31-2008, 11:33 PM

Interesting. I think I would have asked her to clarify her statement. what exactly does she think you are lacking-is it just those things you noted or what are her concerns. The other question I have fo ryou is why do you want to be a LLL leader-what do you hope to gain that you do not get from what you are currently doing? I am asking because it seems you get to be a mentor and advise people in your role and you are not going to be held to a listed set of "beliefs" Just a thought

Emma · 07-31-2008, 11:48 PM

I agree with Karen. Maybe you would be better off doing what you're doing especially if you don't agree with all of LLL core values. Maybe I'm at point with my own job that makes me advise you to run far far away from any added stress

Koloe · 08-01-2008, 12:09 AM

LLL leaders need to follow their core values. There are many reasons for them. IBLEC on the other hand are not as diehard as LLL. At least not from my perspective. Though many people who are IBLEC got there through LLL. I would have trouble being a LLL leader, because I can't be 100% for all their values, and I attend LLL.

You also need to have nursed for at least 9 months - which you now have - to be a LLL leader. Unless it's nurse for a year. I should know this, as I just looked it up last week or so.

There are very good reasons why LLL doesn't like pacifiers. They create many problems for many nursing pairs. Perhaps not all of them, but frequently enough to be on their not good list.

Drugs during childbirth do impair the nursing dyads ability to successfully nurse. Doesn't mean you won't be able to nurse, but it causes problems for many dyads because the baby is drugged up and unable to nurse right away. Not to mention the mother being drugged up.

LLL also wants babies to nurse at LEAST 1 year if not longer. Doesn't mean you can't nurse longer, but LLL advocates Child Lead Weaning (CLW) as much as possible. Because it's very good for the child.

C-sections are majorly bad for breastfeeding as mothers often have to wait hours, if not days, before they can nurse for the first time. Babies often are introduced to a bottle before mother has chance to nurse. Not to mention all the health issues involved with c-sections.

It doesn't make you a bad person to disagree with these items, but it may mean being a LLL leader is not your best option. There are of course women who have had c-sections who go to LLL - I mean when 1 in 3 women have them of course there are. There are women who use Pacifiers and women who use pain meds in child birth and women who wean early.

You may just need to find a different mentor if you really want to be a LLL leader.

The evil thing I would advocate as a LLL member that LLL doesn't like is that you can supplement with formula and still nurse. Specifically thinking of women who work or go to school. I don't think this is ideal, and it will of course impact your supply, but I would rather a women try to nurse and supplement than give up right away because they think it's all or none and they won't be able to nurse when they go back to work/school. I once thought it was all or none, and I now know differently.

Pautzie · 08-01-2008, 12:51 AM

Karen, Emma, and Rebecca all have excellent points.

I don't think your supervisor was trying to say you are a bad person. It sounds like she was concerned that you don't believe in all of the LLL's values. Which is a big part of being a LLL leader. As a leader, you are there not only to support mothers, but to represent the LLL and their values.

tinamariebb · 08-01-2008, 01:30 AM

I agree with the girls. You're not a bad person, or even a bad lactivist, just not totally in line with their core values.
I am more in line with them even as someone who is forced by my poor pelvis dystosia to have c-sections. They did effect my nursing relationship with both of my kids. I think the epi on top of the section made for many problems. I was doing great with my induced labor with Loralei without any drugs because I knew that I could do it, until I found out my body was failing that is. We managed to get past it and I had a great breastfeeding relationship with Loralei and am having a great one with Josalyn.
I think LLL should follow WHO guidelines of at least 2 years breastfeeding. My ped said that the AAP was upping their minimum from 1 year to 2 years. I don't think ill of anyone who weans at 1 year, but as the mom of a kiddo who has problems with cows milk (that are only getting worse), I see it as iimportant to go until at least 2 years old. Is it a pain to nurse a toddler? At times! But she looked at me after they polished her perfect teeth at the dentists today, and she asked for it and was fine when I told her she'd get some later. She pops off just to tell me she loves me. It also helps out to still be nursing during the height of cold and flu season!

I think that instead of LLL leader, you should look into becoming an IBCLC and hook up with a hospital. A lot of hospitals have groups like LLL, but not as stringent. And you could lead those and classes too. You could be hands on working shifts at the hospital, or just with appointments where you could drive to clients homes.

I see you as a lactivist Jess, for sure.

RetromamaJess · 08-01-2008, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Koloe

The evil thing I would advocate as a LLL member that LLL doesn't like is that you can supplement with formula and still nurse. Specifically thinking of women who work or go to school. I don't think this is ideal, and it will of course impact your supply, but I would rather a women try to nurse and supplement than give up right away because they think it's all or none and they won't be able to nurse when they go back to work/school. I once thought it was all or none, and I now know differently.

Even in the office.....i'm learning EVERYTHING by her, and taking on some of her views, not sure if they are my own. I have had pounded in my head why BM is so important, and I agree that it's EXTREAMLY important....but like you said, a little breastmilk and formula is better than no BM right? Her rule is if you get ANY formula, the ONLY pump we give you is a Harmony. There are special exceptions....but I don't think there should be a rule there. I think it should be a situation thing only.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pautzie

Karen, Emma, and Rebecca all have excellent points.

I don't think your supervisor was trying to say you are a bad person. It sounds like she was concerned that you don't believe in all of the LLL's values. Which is a big part of being a LLL leader. As a leader, you are there not only to support mothers, but to represent the LLL and their values.

Do you attend LLL in Deland?

Quote:

Originally Posted by tinamariebb

I agree with the girls. You're not a bad person, or even a bad lactivist, just not totally in line with their core values.
I am more in line with them even as someone who is forced by my poor pelvis dystosia to have c-sections. They did effect my nursing relationship with both of my kids. I think the epi on top of the section made for many problems. I was doing great with my induced labor with Loralei without any drugs because I knew that I could do it, until I found out my body was failing that is. We managed to get past it and I had a great breastfeeding relationship with Loralei and am having a great one with Josalyn.
I think LLL should follow WHO guidelines of at least 2 years breastfeeding. My ped said that the AAP was upping their minimum from 1 year to 2 years. I don't think ill of anyone who weans at 1 year, but as the mom of a kiddo who has problems with cows milk (that are only getting worse), I see it as iimportant to go until at least 2 years old. Is it a pain to nurse a toddler? At times! But she looked at me after they polished her perfect teeth at the dentists today, and she asked for it and was fine when I told her she'd get some later. She pops off just to tell me she loves me. It also helps out to still be nursing during the height of cold and flu season!

I think that instead of LLL leader, you should look into becoming an IBCLC and hook up with a hospital. A lot of hospitals have groups like LLL, but not as stringent. And you could lead those and classes too. You could be hands on working shifts at the hospital, or just with appointments where you could drive to clients homes.

I see you as a lactivist Jess, for sure.

The only hospital that allows someone like me in is about 30 miles away, and right now my sup. is over there 1 morning a week. She loves it and it's going well. There is a sister hospital right around the corner from me, but they are private hosiptals, and there is I think 1 OB will will deliver there. That's it...I looked into becoming a IBCLC, and I have to have like 7 college classes, and then take their classes. It's just too much for me right now with DH going back to school. I would like to do it once we start having an income, and I COULD go back to school. It's very important right now that i'm here with the kids, and they are shown a lot of attention while DH goes back to school...it's going to be a MAJOR change in their life. I feel like I have to focus on my family right now, and not my long term career....that make sense?