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| Birth Control & Waiting To Try The place for moms who have put TTC on hold or are not having any more children. |
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#1 (permalink) |
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Welcome home baby Lily!!!
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Well, I guess we're done with having children. DH told me last night that he loves our two boys and that he really doesn't want anymore. He said he's thought about it off and on but for realistically he wants us to be done. (I thought maybe it was his pain meds talking). I asked him again this morning and he said "yes" he feels like we should be done.
I'm just VERY sad over this. Even while I was pregnant I had hoped we would have just one more. I've thought this all along all these months. I am just so sad and sort of hurt over this. |
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#3 (permalink) |
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Because I said so, that's why!
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Well, if you don't do anything permanent, there is time to reconsider. right now with an infant in the house may not be the time. Babies require a LOT of time and energy, and the thought of adding another one may be overwhelming him.
But I know how you feel. DB and I comprimised on this one - it's his 5th child, but only my 1st child. I would like more some day, but we agreed on one. Which is why part of me had been hoping for twins. I don't know how I woud take care of 2 babies right now though. lol So it's probably a good thing I just had one. |
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#6 (permalink) |
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Advocate of many things.
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Aw Amy I'm sorry DH is being a butthead
My feeling on this whole thing is a little harsh I guess, so don't mind me! After Cade was born I wanted one RIGHT AWAY (i.e. 2 weeks postpartum ) but DH wanted to wait a couple years. Well no way was he winning! I talked about it every single day, whining and crying about it, telling him how wonderful it would be to have them close together, and finally he caved.With #3, he wanted to wait until Parker was a year. Obviously I changed his mind again Now he says he REALLY only wants 3, no more. We've actually had a conversation where I basically said to him "So you're saying that even if I really want another child, and it's very important to me to have another one, then you'd deny me that?" And he said something like "We'll see" )But I guess my point is that I don't think it's fair that a man gets to say "Okay, we're done." It's not something you can just say okay to and move on. If you really want another child it's something that could eat away at you and cause you to feel resentful towards him years down the road. I always told DH that you might regret not having one more child, but you'll never regret having them. Don't give up Amy! This is your life too! Try to talk to him and explain how important this is to you, ask him to give you detailed reasons on why he doesn't want another one, and try to offer an argument for those (if you have one Sometimes guys don't realize how important these things are, and maybe by talking to him he'll be more willing to change his mind. Obviously you can't compromise on this stuff, you can't have half a child. So one of you is going to have to give in, without potentially ruining the relationship in the process. Good luck working on him! ![]() |
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#7 (permalink) |
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Advocate of many things.
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Oh and if his best excuse is "I'm happy with two" (which is probably the most common response) then I would ask him "So you're saying if we have a third that you'll suddenly be UNhappy? Why?"
Make sure you make him explain himself! |
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