Why he can't get fixed

Koloe · 04-07-2006, 01:42 PM

BEFORE I got pregnant my DB and I had agreed that he would get fixed after DC was born and we made sure the baby was OK. But due to me still paying off the hospital bill for DD, we have not had the cash for that yet. Well now he has discovered that he can donate sperm and make up to $400 a month, so he doesn't want to get fixed until he can't do that anymore.

But IF he get's excepted (his first visit is today) he can only donate until he's 41, so only about 11 more months.

MEN!!

He told the person when he set up his appointment that he had an idea for a new slogan for them: "Donate today to help you abstain."

I guess that's his new form of birth control.

fyrestar · 04-07-2006, 01:54 PM

What a weird thing to say! He's really doing it or is he just joking? Are you comfortable with that? I remember when DH and I were in college and they used to print advertisements in the school newspaper (seriously!) calling for sperm and egg donors (egg donors would get $4000!!

) and DH jokingly said he should do it. But it always made me feel weird - to think that there might be your DH's little kids walking around. It's nice when people donate or become a surrogate because they want to help someone, but I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing I might have a baby out there somewhere and having no clue what kind of family they were born to, if they were happy, etc. Too weird for me!

Koloe · 04-07-2006, 04:53 PM

He has an appointment set up for next Friday (I thought it was today). He is 100% serious. I really don't care if he donates sperm - except that it means we will have to use some other form of BC until he's no longer eligable next year.

Assuming he's excepted of course. He already has 4 other children ages 23, 8, 5, & 3 with 3 other women. So for us, the other children out there is not exactly an issue, because they are already out there. I've half seriously / half joking asked him how many others are out there.

Let's just say it wouldn't shock me - unless the kid were younger than 5. That's one of the main reasons he's DB and not DH. But that's why he wants to get fixed - he has the high fertility problem, not I.

I don't know if I would donate eggs myself. You have to take the fertility drugs to up your egg production and those are not the healtiest things in the world. And I do think women should be paid well for donating eggs. It's much more dangerous and not at all fun, unlike a man's gamate donation. Though I think I would be much more willing to donate now that I have the child I always wanted than before I became a parent. But I probably would always wonder if a child was ever born from said donation and what s/he looked like, what kind of person they were, etc.

Interesting bit of trivia though - one of the people DB knows tried to donate and got disqualified because his

didn't survive the freezing process. Supposedly this happens to 1 in 10 men. But I wonder if they just told this guy that because they didn't want his sperm.

I know I wouldn't if I were a woman looking to use donated sperm. So now I wonder if that is actually true? I've done a lot of reading on infertility and never seen reference to it. I may have to investigate that some day.

Kris · 04-08-2006, 01:44 PM

That's funny. But, I would be totally uncomfortable with my dh donating sperm. I would, in some way, love to be able to help someone have a child - but I don't think I could deal with the fact that my husband had another child out in the world that he would not know, care for, or be involved with.

I guess that's just me. But, that's a lot of $$ for sperm, LOL!!!!

Koloe · 04-08-2006, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jayhawkmom

But, that's a lot of $$ for sperm, LOL!!!!

I think it's $50 a pop. 2x what you can make donating plasma and a lot less painful. If they didn't pay you to donate sperm, I'm quite sure he would not be interested.